Let's see besides bill collectors calling me, student loans people riding my back, and the basic bills kicking me and my mom's butt life is pretty good. I just came back from my 5th mission trip. This was my 5th year going to Guayaquil Ecuador and as usual God really blessed me. I saw people that have become my distant family members and most importantly I saw my adopted Ecuadorian baby....Oh she is so beautiful and even though I only see her once a year she remembers me like I'm there with her all day everyday. I will have a later post chronicling my Ecuadorian Mission Trip 2011....coming soon!
I have some emotional issues that I am still dealing with and I am contemplating speaking with my Assistant Pastor about them. Every time I think about them I begin to cry (like right now as I'm typing this). I hide my tears and pain from everyone and its getting harder and harder to do so. I think being out of work had made my emotional problems worse in a way. It hurts so bad, but I must keep going....can't let this stop me. I really don't know why these feelings are breaking me down like this...I cry out to God, but the pain is so hard to get past...I cry until I'm out of breath or better yet until I'm hyperventilating sometimes. I would say that I'm so over this, but clearly I'm not because I can't stop crying!...I hate dealing with my issues, I hate crying about them, and I hate talking about them, but something has to be done because this is starting to consume me. I think I am seriously teetering on depression and I need to speak with someone that can help me because I am not claiming any type of depression. I absolutely refuse to do so!
Until later...be blessed.
